Self-confidence Vs Narcissism

A female with self confidence (otherwise known as a Chilled Out Chick) is someone with a good sense of self-awareness and a high level of self-worth.

• She is kind and respectful to others.

• She knows her strengths and good qualities

• But isn't afraid to show her vulnerable side.

• She can laugh at herself.

• She doesn't think she is superior to others.

• She doesn't need to be the centre of attention.

• She knows her value, she doesn't need people to tell her.

• She competes with no one and runs her own race.

• She is responsible for her actions.

• She doesn't have a sense of entitlement.

• This girl rarely has "FOMO" (Fear Of Missing Out).

• She is comfortable with who she is.

A narcissist on the other hand has an inflated sense of self-importance, excessive self interest and self admiration (not to be mistaken for self-love).

• She has little or no care for the needs of others.

• She constantly seeks validation and admiration.

• She shows little or no empathy.

• She deflects her bad behaviour onto others or blames others for it.

• Takes no responsibility for her wrong doings.

• She constantly complains and blames.

• She has self-pity.

• She likes to be the centre of attention.

• She is jealous of others success.

• She is threatened by those she is jealous of.

• She lies to benefit herself.

When you come across someone who likes to be the centre of attention, who likes to call the shots, talks about herself all the time and can quite frankly annoy the crap out of you how self-absorbed she is, you might think she seems so together and confident you find yourself disliking her. Rest assured this girl is struggling with low self-esteem and is screaming with insecurity.

Don't hate her, exclude her or talk badly of her, offer her kindness. Give her that validation sincerely, there are days she will need it more than others. Set the right example and show her how it is done. Kindness is contagious.

If women support women and gently guide them perhaps we can create a ripple effect, low self-esteem and narcissism will reduce and we can start seeing a growth of Chilled Out Chicks everywhere. Wouldn't that be nice.

Oh and if you see glimpses of narcissism in yourself, be kind to that girl too. We all have our moments and the fact you have read this all the way to end means you are open to self improvement and we are always learning. Learning is a good thing!