top of page

Self-love - Let's make everyone more comfortable with the term

Updated: Jun 5, 2020

Let's face it, the term "self-love" can make some people cringe and uncomfortable. When I was growing up if someone "loved themselves", it was considered an insult meaning they were "up themselves", arrogant, selfish, thought they were better than everyone else, you get the picture.

Self-love hasn't been given a good rap in the past so let's clear the air and make the notion more user friendly.

The idea of self-love is similar to self-responsibility and valuing yourself. It doesn't in any way mean you are self-absorbed or self-centred. In fact, those who value themselves are quite the opposite. The women you see supporting other women, who are kind and thoughtful, not jealous and competing with others often have high self-worth.

Self-responsibility, worth, love, care are forms of wellness energy and an essential foundation to create an ideal environment to encourage other positive energies to flow within you. In a nutshell, we all need this energy to live harmoniously.


When we are self-responsible and value ourselves we make good choices that serve us well. We make healthy decisions about our well-being (lifestyle, food, exercise, relationships) because we know we deserve it.

The likelihood of setting goals and achieving them are higher when we don't settle for less than we deserve. When we are self-responsible we take steps to control our environment and make healthy choices about how we want to live. These elements together help us create happiness and the life we want. Living a life you don't want is not freedom and not a harmonious way of life at all.

Here's how you can encourage self-love:

  1. Develop self-awareness of who you are, your character, behaviour, values

  2. Discover your needs and how to meet them while still being kind to others

  3. Understand and enjoy that you are unique and enjoy the uniqueness of others

  4. Forgive yourself and others for any past wrong doings

  5. Care for all aspects of yourself - mind, body, emotions, spirit

  6. Believe that you and others deserve to be happy

  7. Be responsible for our mistakes, own them, apologise - no blame, no complaints

  8. Express yourself effectively, your ideas and feelings

  9. Respect your body - eat healthy, exercise, sleep

  10. Create and value good friendships

  11. Be truthful with yourself and others

  12. Treat yourself like you would your best friend

  13. Look at your challenges as opportunities to learn

  14. Show your vulnerability, it's ok to show your imperfections sometimes

  15. Ask directly what you want

  16. Keep in mind your safety, your health, and respect of yourself and others when making choices

  17. Understand that likes and follows on social media will not give you everlasting happiness

  18. Don't look to be validated by others, validate yourself

  19. Talk positively to yourself

  20. Actively create the life you want through good choices.

So whether you want to call it self-love, self-responsibility or self-worth or maybe not even put a label on it at all, the important thing to remember is that to live a life of genuine happiness and freedom, you really need to truly like and accept who you are.


Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page